Monday, December 24, 2012

PBP 28: Extricating Yourself From the Vicious Spirit-Slump

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You see what I did there? With that title? ohohoh I'm so fucking clever.

But "X". Like, what the fuck? Do you expect me to find some weird way to write about doing Spirit Work while playing Xylophones? Don't answer that. I bet you fucking did. Don't lie to me.

In the wake of my last 'serious post I found myself at a new block. The last 4 or so months had been one long, strong, vicious slump. In every aspect of my life. Shamanic work was at a stand-still. Add to that still no progress on my career front, more or less isolation from 'friends', being job-shamed on a daily basis, and a seeming fucking impasse in spirit and astral matters because my soul decided post-last-war it was time to peter out, dig a hole somewhere and stick posies on top of us because we were DONE, and you can see where this article topic is coming from.

I kept getting signs--it's time to wake up. It's time to move. You're stuck on your spiritual path and everything is now hinging on it. Before, everything was hinging on emotional progress. Even given my current state, I have made significant progress in self-work recently. So now comes the natural following: what the fuck is happening on my spirit-path?
For the past who knows how long my Spirit-work has focused more or less on other-people's-issues. They are tangential to mine--but they're NOT mine. Certain parts are, but not the whole. Remember the healer's mantra. Some things are really not your problem until you make it that way by getting involved or getting feelings involved and really wanting to help people. That's all fine but you end up after it's over wondering where YOUR work went. Where the fuck you even are now.  You have to set boundaries for yourself or as a helping-person you lose soul pieces like they're loose change and you end up having to do twice as much work for yourself every time. (And I'm guilty of this which is why I point it out.)

Recently, things have been falling into my path. I feel like talking to somebody because I suddenly feel really horrible, and they message me asking if I'm alright and I publically said nada. I think to myself "man I could use insight" and a friend offers a reading without me saying anything. I think "Man I need to get out and do things" and lo and behold another friend texts me at that exact moment asking to hang this weekend. I don't often notice these things but this succession--it's important. When the Universe begins to give you shit--it's my sign shit is about to go down. In a big way. So you better man up because your slump is about to be driven out on its ass. That in combination with my sudden atypical dreams and I have to wonder. Couple that with a feeling I have--I despite it as "great purpose rising up to meet you"--and having a friend literally say those exact words during a reading and I wonder.

In this post I was going to talk about dragging yourself out of the Spiritual Slump, and some tips on how to go about it--and I think now I'm more prepped to speak on that.

I got tired of sitting around and I sized the signs I had about 2 weeks ago and decided to shove against them--I asked for help. I chose to move my own fate-wheel. And that gave me the final info needed to continue this post.

I think there are 2 kinds of Spirit-Slump:

Brought on by you, and brought on by things outside of you. The difficulty is in first, knowing the difference, and second, knowing whether to paddle and weather the storm or start swimming anyway and hope for the best.

I think slumps brought on by you mean things brought on by your inner turmoil over something. Either you feel you need to change and you can't, or you don't know where to go, so you stop walking the path. I think physical life can take over and you lose interest for a while and come to a stagnating point. But I think most times you identify the path isn't serving you anymore but you don't know why, so for a while you just stop, and then it drags on.

I think slumps brought on by things outside of you happen because there is something you're not facing. I consider this a forced fucking vacation for people that need significant soul retrieval and emotional working on by the universe. For instance, since I graduated I have done every fucking thing possible to look for jobs in my field. I petitioned deities, my guide, I did tons of spellwork, sigil work, work with reiki--everything imaginable. I didn't just sit here and let it be. Nothing happened. I was basically told No, it's not time for you yet. You have shit to handle. So, everything stopped for me on the physical level. Came to a grinding halt. And I did nothing on my end to bring it on. What ended up happening was I had nothing else--so I went back to the Spirit. I think also Deities can force you into a slump if you're not paying attention to some vital aspect of your path or they're forcing you into places that are uncomfy but that you ultimately have to go or risk never progressing.

I think these two are hard to seperate, and even harder to figure out. When you're in a slump--either you accept that the wheel has stopped turning and wait for something to move it again, or you start running after it.

And sometimes, like Fallow Times, it's fine to sit and wait. In fact, it's necessary. You wouldn't be in the slump if you were handling shit, and the slump is forcing an extended vacation for you to do so, even if you rail and hate it it's still a reluctant gift you should take. I ran after my wheel a lot in the first 2 months and eventually accepted it had a very good reason for being there, and let it happen. Went with the current.

I also think slumps are sometimes a test that will piss you off enough for you to finally scream fuck it and chase your own wheel down. I believe the first couple months of my slump were a gift, and I believe once I hit December 1st I did enough work that my soul woke up, looked around, went "What the FUCK are we doing here still?" and started my wheel moving again. I mean I literally woke up and felt something was Moving again. Like I was stuck in stagnant time and time began flowing again and I felt it while it was happening. I think Dec 1st was my warning "Run. Chase the wheel again." So I went to Eagle, a guide who had been hanging around, waiting for me, to finish my hardcore soul-work. And I said let's fucking do this thing. I was tired of waiting and forced my own work. Which is not something to be taken on lightly. In the past 3 or so weeks I am literally a different person than I was before December because of the sheer volume of soul work and shadow work that has been piled upon me courtesy of Eagle.

I think what path to take in a slump depends on how fragile you are at the time, and how fucking pissed you are to be stuck in one place. I think the anger has to grow in you like a slow fire, and the wheel has to be at the perfect moment for you to give it one final smack to kick the slump entirely.

So I think if you're in a slump, you have to figure out what type it is. If it's a type brought on by yourself, here's some ways I've found that help to kick your wheel back into motion.

+If your slump is because you're feeling ambivalent or lost on your path...

It's time to man up and admit your path isn't working for you. I think a lot of people have a tendency to cling to ideas of things, and not realities. Maybe when you began your path you were a Hellenic Recon, and if it's stopped working for you, your views changed, or you feel like it's not that perfect shoe-fit anymore, you have to first admit that. And it can be hard to admit you're not the same as you were, because we build communities around the paths we choose, we know people, we commune with people on that level, and all of these threads make it difficult to start over when we've done so much work on the current path. But you're only hurting yourself if you just continue to do what you've always done not because it fulfils your needs but because you think you should.

If the general path still feels right, begin researching other angles or finding other perspectives for your pathwork. Maybe it's not a matter of reinventing your path, but changing how you walk it. You have to discern what feels ambivalent and kind of off for yourself and work on that. For me that meant completely scrapping my previous ideas and reinventing my wheel and everything I thought about life.

Sometimes it means researching paths you never even thought of, and re-evaluating why you started your path and where you want to be eventually if you keep walking.

+If your slump is because physical life took over and ate your time...

Figure out why that is. If it's because you're busy working a hectic schedule for a while, either accept that you're not going to have as much time for Spirit shit, or don't. Sometimes physical life does need to be your focus, and your Spirits need to respect that. You can't juggle two worlds all the time. There are going to be times when you have to shut the door for a while to handle things in your physical.

Alternatively, if you foresee this physical world taking over as a problem, begin to find ways around it. If you're spending all your time at work, maybe create an incognito shrine you use on your breaks. If you have a hectic family life with kids or something, schedule in time to go outside, and it doesn't have to be much. For me if I don't schedule the time it's not happening. And your brain will invent all kinds of reasons why you don't deserve that time or you're selfish or whatever. Ignore them. If everything was fine you wouldn't be in a slump. Communing with Spirit is a need just like sleeping and eating, and just as important.

+If your slump is because you went through something traumatic on this plane that prevented you from doing anything but surviving...

Respect that. You have to handle your physical pain and grieving period before you can even think of spirituality. You have to respect what you can and can't handle at all times. You shouldn't be doing shadow work if you can't think about the event without crying every 5 minutes. You need to give this thing time. Accept that this time has a purpose and tend to your other needs first.

+If your slump is because you feel like what's being asked of you on your path is above your paygrade...

It's time to decide what you want. If a Deity offers you a deal to do something for the rest of your life in exchange for something, really look at what you want. Consider your options. Sometimes Callings can't be avoided, like my Calling to do Shamanic work just found me. But Callings are often decided by your soul before your life, whereas Deals from Gods/Guides can be accepted OR rejected. You're not obligated to take one way over another. You have to decipher what feels right and where you want to be on the path in 10 years, and weigh your pros and cons.

By the same token if you fear the next step you see you have to take even though it feels right and your soul is screaming for it--perhaps what you need is the leap of faith to embrace whatever the change is because you can't stand being stuck. That's basically what I did when I broke my fate-wheel. It depends on you.

+If your slump is because no matter what you try life is forcing you to stop and slow down...

This is the one time I really think you should listen. If everything goes wrong over and over again, I am inclined to think there is a good reason. If all the spells and prayers in the world change nothing, I assume the suffering is something I am meant to go through, because I lack perfect foresight and my Guide knows what is coming for me in the future and that I will be grateful in the end. Sometimes you really do have to trust this cycle is something you have to go through and take it day by day instead of fighting.

In the meantime--you can try faking it til you make it. Go through the motions of what your normally do spiritually even if it feels weird or half-hearted, and see where it goes from there. At the very least trying will help you inform your decisions.

Also remember Slumps are cyclical. You're going to have slumps and you're going to have awesome times where everything is clicking and going well and shit is just dandy. The key, to me, is knowing when to fight it and when to accept it. Knowing when your actions will end it, or knowing when to wait for it to end. That's not really something I can teach, because I am learning that myself as we speak. But eventually you'll learn it too.

PS; Merry holidays to all those that celebrate. <3

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