Friday, March 8, 2013

When To Bring Out the Side-Eye: Occult Info Edition

(I found this Michelle-Side-Eye-on-google.)

Okay I realize this is probably treading directly into uncomfortable territory for a lot of people in the community, but I've heard an alarming number of stories in the past few weeks from people over private message and other means about this very topic and I feel I need to address it. I feel like I'm not good enough at psychology to tackle it properly but I'll try in my ineloquent fashion anyway. And this is my experience, YMMV, standard disclaimers etc.

That topic is: When should you be concerned or suspicious when other people offer you information about your own metaphysical background/self/energy/guides/Gods?

Just to get this out of the way, I am NOT shitting on Godphones and people who are asked to act as intermediaries between certain physical parties and certain spiritual ones. I know several people in my life who have been indeed been told by Deity "Go tell this person this thing for me."

There are a couple reasons to do that:
  1. The Deity legit can't reach you for whatever reasons and so reach out to others to deliver their message.
  2. Sometimes it's a test of your ability to listen.
  3. Sometimes it's a test for the person telling you, as well.
  4. Sometimes it's contract-related between you, the intermediary, and the Deity.
  5. Annnd it can be a little from each column too.
So that's by no means unheard of and it's a practice that deserves to be respected like all roles taken on by those who walk the Path, whatever roles they may be. To be clear I'm NOT talking about people who legitimately Godphone or oracle upon request for others and its part of their path. (I myself do tarot and oracle/akashic readings for people on request.)

What I'm talking about is deliberately using occult or metaphysical information, often fabricated, in a concentrated effort to control, extort, or manipulate another individual. 

So let's say for example you can't really see your past lives and for whatever reason you maybe want to, but you're not really thinking about it. You start dating someone who seems okay and starts to tell you about your past lives. You believe them, because you don't REALLY have evidence to the contrary, so it's an either-way thing. They weave this extensive backstory between you and the person and write this grand tale in memories about how you've always been together and always will be and ~destiny~, and like I said, you don't have evidence to the contrary and you like this person, so you might get a little creeped, but you're kinda like "Maybe they're right?"

And that's where it begins. This is where Imma stop you and talk to you about ethics.

As a healer-type, I am very concerned about ethics. I won't send a single spurt of energy to somebody without asking them, even if I have in the past, EVEN if they've given me permission to do so at any time. And even then I take precautions; I tell the energy to shut off if at any point they decide to stop accepting. (And it seems to indeed shut off.) Also being an Oracle-type, I tend to Know things about other people right off the bat. Example of this is Otherkin-type energy, animal guides, Deities; a lot of that I can pick up. (Not all the time, not for everybody.) However, unless explicitly asked, I'm not going around telling everyone I meet this information.

Why? Several reasons.
  1. I accept I could be completely off base and I respect the feelings of the individual before MY feelings, so I don't want to create an awkward situation, unless, as I stated, I am specifically asked about a topic or my feelings on something they feel. Especially if this person is of a religion or faith that would directly contradict what I have seen and might become upset by my info.
  2. By telling someone this information I may be inhibiting their natural exploration or pathfinding and I don't think depriving them of that discovery process is my place.
  3. Even if explicitly asked by the person I can be told "no" because the Spirits agree with me on point # 2, and ethically speaking I'm not going to act against those wishes.
Also my morals are not everybody's morals and that's cool too. I'm setting you up an example of someone who legitimately does oracle and divinate for people without desire to manipulate, through my list of ethics.

Again, there are times at which I will be legitimately moved by things to tell people information, and that's not what my article is discussing. I'm trying to tell you, even if it's me, and I listed my ethics up there for you, you still need to be suspicious as fuck of my information. That's not offensive to me. I consider that basic spiritual self-defense.

Being suspicious is a very good survival instinct you should develop on purpose. Being suspicious as fuck has saved my ass many times on the astral, especially when dealing with mimics. 

In the above scenario--your SO weaves you a tale about your past lives you can't ACTUALLY refute because you have no evidence of your own to counteract--step 1 is to examine why this person is telling you this.

Is it:

    A) Because they legitimately saw this and really want to tell you?
    B) Because they're providing context to make your relationship seem like "more" than it is?…Why?
    C) Because, by inventing a story, they are weaving the beginnings of a manipulative web in which you accept what they say as fact on metaphysical matters you can't refute?

Can you REALLY discern which it is? Would you bet years of your life on it immediately? What if you bet wrong? Plenty of people have. I saw it happen in my own house.

This is the issue with trying to turn your personal experiences/knowledge into something another person should automatically jive with.

Let me tell you some shit:

Just because you can't at present refute it doesn't make it automatically true.

At least for me, I require proof either way. Me and Rosebell really do have an astral past. How do I know this? This information was shared, disputed, discussed, re-discussed and rewritten multiple times--equally--between us. It still is. The difference is when somebody comes up and begins telling YOU all about YOUR life and the room for discussion isn't there. They're not interested in your thoughts or experiences. They're only interested in what they know about you. Why are they so hell-bent on telling you how things are? (Again reiterating this is unsolicited, as in, you didn't ask for this info)

Your experiences are yours. Period. If something doesn't feel right to you, it's not. Disregard it. Get the fuck out. Side-eye the shit out of people that relay all your lives to you and it involves them or especially them having some sort of power or connection over you. You feel Otherkin and someone tells you "I have uber epic psychic powers and I can tell you're not, so you're not"? Punch them in the face. Then leave.

BUT--YOU CAN BE WRONG! I've been wrong plenty of times about things in my metaphysic journey. But I'm saying BEING WRONG is your experience to have--NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S. You can absolutely be wrong about things--and the person might be right and have best intentions, but they're still intervening. If you think you have a God bothering you and it's someone else--that's your discovery. Same with being Otherkin, or being Empathic, or a Dreamwalker, or any number of things. There were people who knew I wasn't Wolf-Otherkin way before I did, and they respected me enough not to tell me until I figured it out for myself at the correct time for me. (It turns out it's Fox, if you're curious.) I side-eye the shit out of people who try and tell me things (unasked) because I wonder--

"What's so bad about ME being wrong about MYSELF? Why are you trying to prevent me from having the experience of learning to be wrong and analyze my self-perception?"

By the same token, you don't have to prove your feelings, or your personal knowledge, experiences, or Spirit-relationships to anybody. You live in your own head, and therefore your truth is personal and inherently your own. I like evidence and self-analysis as much as the next person, but reality is by its very nature happening inside your head. Reality is personal. Nobody gets to change your personal reality for you, before you're ready, and if they want to, you should question why. 

The worse-case scenario is the one I mentioned above. Be warned there are people in the community who will attempt to use fabricated occult things to exert control over you. I feel as though this is a somewhat unique angle to approach manipulation from; precisely because they're telling you things that could be false but you can't overtly PROVE either way. And if you're naturally trusting like me and a newer Path-walker and you respect this person and think they want to help you learn, all the worse. If someone tries to implant false memories of your past/change your perception of reality (this is similar to Gaslighting techniques) it can be generally refuted by other means. But someone inventing facts about you spiritually--what do you do then?

Well I'll give you a few steps I've found have helped me out.

A) If you suspect the information of being true, get several opinions.
Especially if you know OTHER oracle-types or spirit-walkers that deal in information--ASK THEM. Especially if someone is talking about your astral calling or your Gods or something and your gut is saying "This seems a little fucking creepy." Ask for confirmation from several sources. Ask your Gods. Ask your Guides. Ask your cards. Ask trustworthy or otherwise un-involved people that don't know either party very well and won't be biased.
B) Exercise suspicion of motives.
Analyze every possible reason behind the person telling you this information.
Even if it's someone earnestly trying to help you out. I prefer people be suspicious, even of information I give them.
C) How does that make you feel?
Does this information make you want to fucking run? Why? Really think about this step. Sometimes the information really does confirm something you know, and that's cool too.
D) If I accepted this information as fact, would it change dynamics in the corporeal relationship between me and this person?
If you accept this story as fact, does it change your corporeal thoughts about this individual? Does it make you think they're more...'powerful' than you? More worthy of respect? More worthy of being followed? WHY? Does this information throw off the balance of power you thought was there before? Does it leave you on the lesser end? Is it legitimately DESIGNED to produce this effect?

Especially the last point is a huge red flag of an occult-manipulator. If the information is DESIGNED to make you doubt yourself, your feelings, your autonomy, or your position is 'Equal' to someone else--to me, that's a very giant huge scary sign of someone out to fuck you up. Seriously--if you suspect someone of doing this, tell somebody you really do trust. If you don't have somebody, you can tell me.

It should also be said people serving as Godphones and intermediaries communicate messages that may unsettle you. That's not automatically a sign of illegitimacy! Deities do that. Some information does that. But in my experience the last point (D) is not something that happens with genuinely helpful people that are doing their jobs. It's work. It's not a personal vendetta to eradicate your autonomy, like an occult manipulator strategy might be. They are totally different things. I'm only mentioning them in the same article to illustrate how NOT THE SAME they are, lest people conflate the two.

And you can ABSOLUTELY ask for help! There's nothing wrong with that at all! If you suspect Loki is on your ass and you know a few people who Godphone for him, there's nothing wrong at all with asking for a second opinion to confirm your feelings, if they (and he) choose to tell you. But in that scenario you have inklings already and are seeking out help for yourself; as opposed to someone attempting to fabricate entire lifetimes that have 0 connection to you in an attempt to...gain something from you. And even in the case where I am moved to seek out confirmation from other people, I still keep my suspicions and analysis of motives. 

This series of questions is designed to keep you safe and keep you wondering. It's a series of things I wish somebody had taught me when I first encountered people I perceived as more open/powerful/oracular than I was, and therefore to be trusted. Staying on your toes like this will hopefully prepare you better in the case you run into one of this unfortunate individuals, and has the added bonus of prepping you most excellently for Spirits on the astral; of whom many are manipulative and will invent shit to get you to trust them.

I don't mean "trust nobody". I've come to believe the vast majority of people really do mean well. Rather I mean "give people (and Spirits) time to earn your trust, and thus prevent stupid situations from occurring." 

There is a difference.